Ghosts of excessively poor taste. Or, how we could solve the economic crisis one blow-up pumpkin at a time.

A little background information...

1. I hate inflatable yard decorations with a deep and unswerving passion.
2. I teach piano in an exceptionally affluent neighborhood. By affluent, I mean these people live in million to multi-million dollar homes.
3. 9 out of 10 of the houses in these neighborhoods have giant inflatable yard decorations in their yards for EVERY FREAKIN' HOLIDAY.

And now I will rant...

First of all, I know that being wealthy does not guarantee one has taste. However, how much taste does it take to recognize that this,


or this,


is just really, really tacky.

I'm all for holiday spirit. I love the entire month of October and am perfectly willing to decorate, celebrate, and enjoy every tiny scrap of pumpkin scented, sweater wrapped, leaf colored, ghost haunted moment. It is not the act of seasonal decorating I abhor, but rather the act of tastelessly decorating for anything. I will note here that there are exceptions. Tacky decorations are entirely acceptable if you are (a). poor and can't afford to decorate with giant pumpkins from Whole Foods (b). being sarcastic, or (c). poor and being sarcastic. But, if you take yourself (and your million dollar mansion) seriously and you have plenty of expendable income to decorate with those absolutely exquisite and enormous pumpkins at Whole Foods, then DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT stick a giant blow up thing in your yard. Furthermore, do not stick 5-7 of them in your yard. Really? Really? You need an inflatable pumpkin, witch, ghost family, haunted mansion, AND another clear inflatable pumpkin with some kind of contraption inside that blows paper bats around??????

Oh, and lastly...

That blow up haunted house pictured above costs $399. You do the math.