Death by Wagner...

True story:

I was sitting at home tonight grading papers (what else?), when I noticed a giant fucking cockroach nonchalantly strolling across my living room floor. Gross!! And yes, in Texas, giant cockroaches do actually "nonchalantly stroll." Fuck them all.

The thoughts that raced through my head upon seeing the cockroach:

1. Fucking shit.
2. Why have we only had 4 cockroaches in this house ever and each time they have appeared when I'm home alone with nobody to help me kill them or even provide moral support in the endeavor??!! Why?
3. Fucking shit.
4. What can I use to kill it?? My closest pair of shoes are in the other room on the other side of the cockroach's path.
5. Fucking, fucking, shit.

The actual closest thing nearby just happened to be an SMU library book titled Wagner's Ring (sorry SMU!!). I promptly threw Wagner's Ring at the cockroach, and, as he was strolling rather slowly and Wagner's Ring is a rather large book, I managed to kill him in one fell swoop.

In hind-sight, a rather operatic way to go...for a cockroach...

R.I.P.



(Final scene from the second opera in Wagner's Ring cycle (Die Walküre). This is Wotan's farewell to Brünnhilde.)